Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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