Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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