Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
