I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
