You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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