Fine. I'll sleep in my office
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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