That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize