he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
