What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
