FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
