you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
