I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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