clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
