We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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