I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
