Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
