Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
