Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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