i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My feet surprised me
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