I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You can't just leave with hair like that
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
