If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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