We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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