I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
