Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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