I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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