That's intense
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
