careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
