"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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