We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize