Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
