Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
