Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i drank out of a bidet.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
