you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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