I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
