Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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