she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she looked like the before picture.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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