she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Walk of Shame today included voting.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
