Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
