yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
