Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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