I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
