Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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