Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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