Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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