Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
