I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I want her autograph on my taint
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize