spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
