shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
