plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
