We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
