can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
