The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
