Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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