have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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