yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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