hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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