He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Randomize
