just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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