wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You need Xanax blowdarts
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
