It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
