I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
