dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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