so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
