i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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