just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
