dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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